Do you see me now?
by the fish is dead
Summary: He always saw me as a child, despite the obvious fact that I had grown up. Love was pointless if I was invisible in all the wrong ways. He saw right through me.


**Disclaimer:** All rights belong to JK Rowling.

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You told me tales of fairy princesses and charming young knights in shining armor. You stole ice cream from my father's secret stash in the freezer, promising me he wouldn't notice, just this one time.

You taught me how to play pranks, and how to not get caught. You smiled when I was clumsy, and you were concerned when I fell. You promised me one day, I'd find love, just like in the fairy tales you told me. I took your words, and I believed.

Darkness swept the world. You fought alongside the heroes. I entered Hogwarts, full of heart. I soon found out the world was cruel. My heart broke, and I quickly learned to keep the pain inside. I became a rebel.

I passed my NEWTS with flying colors. I was accepted into Auror training. I passed some of the tests with ease, some others with difficulty. I was alone. I had never really had a real friend, and I needed one now more than ever. Dreams of my charming young knight had vanished into thin air. I forgot, and I moved on. I was tough, and I had learned how to just grin and bear it.

The war reappeared into my life, bringing back the ghosts I thought I had hidden well. I wanted to fight. I needed to fight. I needed to forget.

He was there. At first, I was frightened. I thought him a traitor, a criminal. No one had told me. But, I, being the lovely young witch everyone thought me, easily forgave and forgot. He was innocent. I could move on.

I met you for the second time. You didn't recognize me, but I recognized you. I remembered the tales and false hopes. I remembered your smile.

He loved you. It was a lonely, longing love, one he adapted because he needed to. You were the last bit of his past that he had, and he clung to you. I know you didn't notice. You didn't notice a lot of things.

When he died, you cried. I watched you. I couldn't cry. I hurt too much for that. So I just watched you, silently, painfully.

You finally looked up. I came over to you. I told you of your fairy tales. You smiled, and told me you remembered. Your smile never changed.

You told me he had been like a brother to you. I told you I knew. You left. I lay on my bed, my heart and head pounding.

I saw you the next day. You were a wreck, but you were trying your best, if only for the kids' sake. I tried to remind you they weren't kids anymore. That _I _wasn't. But you were stubborn.

I comforted you, and you told me you were fine. We both knew you weren't. You thought you were alone, again. You looked me straight in the eye, though I knew you weren't really seeing me. I was always just going to be that little girl you could entertain with tales of love and bravery. I accepted that, because I was me. I was cheerful. I was expected to.

You told me I should cry. I told you I couldn't. You let it drop, and I was thankful.

You left, and I didn't see you for almost a month. It was almost too much. I could feel myself wilting, and I knew other people saw it, as well.

I drowned my sorrows in Molly's comfort. She told me it would be fine. She didn't understand.

It was full moon. For the first time in what must have been ten years, I cried.

I saw you right before Christmas. You looked horrible, but I must have looked worse. You asked me what was wrong. I said nothing. I think you had figured it out, anyways.

I told you in February. You didn't look surprised. You looked in pain. You told me we couldn't be together, and I asked why. You said you were too old, too poor, and too dangerous. I left. You knew those were pathetic.

I saw you again at Easter. You smiled and laughed, as if nothing were wrong. I cornered you, and yelled. You looked ashamed, and you deserved it. You tried to tell me why, but I couldn't listen to it again.

Molly tried to comfort me again. It was too far past that. I wouldn't hear of it.

We fought bravely in June. I finally felt alive again, and for a moment, I didn't think of you.

I confessed it all to everyone, as Bill lay injured in the hospital wing. I walked out, and into the Forest, further, further and further until I couldn't see the bright lights of Hogwarts anymore. You still found me. You could always find me.

The moon wasn't full, but you still looked wary. Our eyes met, and I neared you, ignoring the tears streaming down my cheeks. I leaned in, and pressed my lips lightly against yours. I could feel your eyes open wide.

I had grown up, you realize.

So do you see me now?

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